


Puck: The Vampire Slayer

by rosethorngirl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosethorngirl/pseuds/rosethorngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Angel/Buffy Drama never was. What if the second Hellmouth was in Lima instead of Cleveland? What if Noah Puckerman was the Slayer and he and his Glee Club friends were all that stood between the world…and total destruction? Xover with Buffy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Genre: Crossover between Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Glee  
Characters: Glee Cast Ensemble, Angel, Darla, The Master  
Summary: What if the Angel/Buffy Drama never was. What if the second Hellmouth was in Lima instead of Cleveland? What if Noah Puckerman was the Slayer and he and his Glee Club friends were all that stood between the world…and total destruction? Will Angel be able to aid Noah's cause? Or will he be too late?  
Warnings: Slash, Violence, Swearing, and Sexual References

Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Episode: One  
Pilot

Noah was a boy.

But he was no ordinary boy. No.

Noah was the first boy Slayer at the tender age of sixteen.

Why you might ask? Well the answer is complicated. You see a Slayer is (usually) the girl chosen to defend to the world from demons and vampires that are trying to harm humanity/take over the world. The catch is, only one can be active at a time, and typically they don't last very long. So when one Buffy Summers (the last Slayer active on the Sunnydale Hellmouth) meets an unfortunate death by jumping off a building to save her "sister," one Sarah Puckerman gets called to take her place.

However, Sarah Puckerman was only three years old.

So when her family was approached by a Mr. Will Shuester, a seasoned Watcher awaiting his next challenge, it was very clear the baby girl couldn't possibly handle such a huge responsibility. Yet, the only way to call another Slayer so soon was to kill Sarah so the next one could receive their preternatural gift. Or was it?

Noah had always been a bit nosy; it was why he usually got beat up and picked on. He never discussed it with his mother, choosing instead to wallow in misery alone. Until the day he walked through the doors to his living room and met Mr. Shuester, who had been whispering to his mom stuff he shouldn't have heard.

But he had heard, and there was no way he was going to A) allow his baby sister to become the world's great defender and B) allow her to be killed to get the next one.

So he got Mr. Shue to strike a deal with the Watcher's Council: he will assume her duties until she is of an age that can handle the pressure…with the clause, that if he should unfortunately die in the heat of battle, she will be relieved of her duties indefinitely and they will be free to call the next Slayer.

It was a big decision, but Noah loved his sister and never complained. He was grateful because he knows that one day he will die, and his mom won't have to worry about her baby having to go through what he did…which also means he doesn't ever have to worry about it. Sarah was safe and he, well, he would be her champion.

And hey, if that means he had been given as much strength and agility as the Incredible Hulk, let's just say superpowers were a definite bonus!

Since school had been just about over when all of the shit hit the fan, Noah spent his entire summer training with Will. Honing in his Slayer senses, perfecting his fighting skills, learning demonology, and stuff of the sort. All of it either made his head hurt, his body ache, or his heart race in fear. But such was the life of a Slayer.

Which is why on a sunny August morning, he was pulling into William McKinley High School. Lima was where the Hellmouth (the place where all the demons and yucky stuff came out of) lies in his region of the world, thus, forcing Slayer Noah to transfer from Dayton to Lima. In some ways it sucked, but mostly he didn't care because it wasn't like he had friends anyway.

Noah had always been the outcast. His dad left when he was eight, his mom sometimes has a drinking problem, his family is rather poor, and he's gay. Yep, that's right, Noah is G-A-Y. So he was bullied…a lot. Which is why when he was fifteen he had been desperate for someone to pay attention to him that wasn't planning on imminently publicly humiliating him.

Enter...Jesse St. James.

Jesse was by very definition, perfect. He had money, a great smile, an amazing singing voice, girls and boys fawning over him, an air of kindness, and an awesome body. Not to mention, he was the first person to actually pay any kind of positive attention to Noah; and Noah, being so naïve and wanting for a male's attention ate it up like a brand new puppy. He fell in love with the boy, and did everything Jesse asked of him – trying to be the best supportive boyfriend he could be. But then one day, while they were hanging out in Noah's room, Jesse asked for something Noah wasn't ready to give…he asked for Noah to have sex with him.

And well, Jesse was then not so sweet to Noah anymore. He insisted that if he truly loved him, he'd spread his legs and give it up; but Noah refused. The next Monday morning, he was met with everyone in the school laughing at him because Jesse lied and told everyone that he had given up his virginity like a desperate slut.

Noah had been devastated.

So as he walks the halls of his new school, Noah makes a promise to himself…no more relationships, period. And as the Slayer, it wasn't healthy anyway, because more than likely he would die by the hand of some ugly demon before he even has the chance to turn seventeen so, really, it was just as well.

Principle Figgins turned out to be a trip. He wondered if any students were afraid of him, and if they were what the hell for. He hadn't seen Mr. Shuester yet, but he was actually really glad about that. His peppy attitude was rather creepy, and while he understood he needed a watcher or whatever to teach him the ways of the Slayer, he wanted to spend only the minimal amount of time around him.

As far as students went, no one had really given him any trouble. He felt as if he was invisible. This was the best situation all around.

Well, it was until coming out of homeroom some Jock in a letterman jacket threw a fucking slushy in his face, while yelling, "Welcome to McKinley ya freak!"

He had been so shocked, he just stood there. He was the fucking Slayer now, and he still couldn't tell bullies off. And as far the "freak" comment went, well, he was used to that.

Wiping the ice from his face, and trying to ignore the growing stain on his shirt and by extension the lack of a replacement, he starts to make his way to the nearest bathroom when someone stops him.

"Oh dear Lord, I'm so sorry!" A small, mousy girl with long brunette hair says and grabs him by the hand to lead him to none other than 'The Ladies' restroom, which was thankfully deserted. "Those Neanderthals just don't know where a line is! I mean it's your first day, that's just not fair."

She gestures for him to sit down on the stool she brings out of a corner and then he finally notices her face. She was very pretty, deep brown eyes and had a sweet disposition. Noah didn't sense any bad vibes from her, so he decided to relax a little before he asked, "Not that I'm not grateful for the help, but who are you?"

She looks him dead in the eyes, as if she were surprised he was talking to her, and sputters, "Oh, I-I'm so sorry, I'm Rachel Berry – the lead in the McKinley Glee Club." Noah nods and smiles back at her wide, friendly grin. "I get slushies thrown at me all the time, and when I saw that Karofsky" she practically spits, "toss one at you, I just felt really bad. Are you okay?"

He nods and then offers, "I'm Noah Puckerman."

She turns the sink on and leans his head back, "It's nice to meet you, Noah." A beat. "Well, maybe not 'nice' considering I wouldn't have wanted to meet you after a slushy attack, but I just meant that you are new and since I know pretty much everyone here it was 'nice' to…"

Noah chuckles, "You talk a lot, huh?"

She blushes. "I'm working on that."

Noah shakes his head, "Don't, it's nice to meet someone that's more of a dork than me. And by the way, call me Puck."

She grins at his silliness. "I think I like Noah better."

He laughs again; maybe he can let it slide.

After a few more minutes of washing the stuff out of his dark, curly hair, Noah breaks the silence. "So I guess it was pretty obvious I was new."

Rachel looks down at him and bites her lip while turning off the water, "Well, I don't mean to offend you, but the look on your face after the slushy facial gave you away. You stop being so shocked after the third one."

"I'll keep that in mind," he smiles and takes the offered towel.

"So if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?" She asks as casually as she could, busying herself by mopping up the excess water with some paper towels.

Noah sniffles from some of the water that had gone up his nose, then replied, "Dayton."

She grins widely, "Oh so you went to Carmel, right? Do you know Jesse St. James?"

He bites back a groan. He can't even escape the ass in a different city! "Yes and unfortunately yes."

She falters some at his attitude, but surges on. "Last year, when I joined the Glee Club, we got to go and see one of their Invitational performances. His voice was amazing." She gushes, completely unmindful of Noah's quickly souring mood. "If he were in our group we would win for sure! What with the blend of his Broadway voice and mine, we would be unbeatable. I mean, Finn would be upset he were no longer lead, but I'm sure he'd under-…"

Noah gets up, "I gotta go."

She looks confused, but Noah just needs to breathe before he winds up spouting off at someone that hasn't done anything wrong.

She throws the towels away and the follows after him. "Did I say something wrong, Noah?" She asks him with a cute, worried pout, and Puck can't help but roll his eyes at himself.

Looks like he's found himself a leech.

"No, it's not you, Rachel," he sighs and keeps walking.

So does she.

He looks over at her. Her face is drawn as if she's trying to figure out a puzzle. "It was me bringing up Jesse St. James, wasn't it?"

Jesus, the chick was bold; and he ignored the flash of pain in his gut at the mention of his name again. "Yeah, I guess you could say we have…history."

"Oh," she pauses, "What happened?"

He stops and looks at her, trying to determine if she was really asking him that question. Something told him the girl really was that clueless, and it wasn't that she was trying to hurt his feelings, just that she didn't know how to catch a hint. "I'd rather not talk about it."

She nods and then asks another, more acceptable question. "Well where are you headed? I can help you find your classes."

He sighs and resists the urge to rub his eyes. "Spanish."

She gives him another wide grin before grabbing his arm and leading him down the hall, "Oh good, I am too! This year we have a new teacher, Mr. Shuester. No one really knows anything about him, but I hear he's really nice…"

And then he blocks her out.

So Mr. Shue is his Spanish teacher. Interesting cover, but why couldn't he have chosen something more badass like being the football coach?

Oh, yeah, because superpowers or no, Noah was destined to be a loser.

Great.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Genre: Crossover between Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Glee  
Characters: Glee Cast Ensemble, Angel, Darla, The Master  
Summary: What if the Angel/Buffy Drama never was. What if the second Hellmouth was in Lima instead of Cleveland? What if Noah Puckerman was the Slayer and he and his Glee Club friends were all that stood between the world…and total destruction? Will Angel be able to aid Noah's cause? Or will he be too late?  
Warnings: Slash, Violence, Swearing, and Sexual References  
Disclaimer: Don't own jack, simple as that! ;)

Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Episode: One  
Pilot  
Part 2

After Spanish and the awkward "meet and greet" with Mr. Shuester, then a few more shared classes, Puck finally managed to get out of the claws that Rachel had wrapped around his arm. It wasn't like he didn't like the girl, in fact he thought she was rather adorable, it was just that she wouldn't shut up! He seriously didn't need to know her entire life story. It wasn't like he was offering her his.

But as it was then his free period, her World History, they said their goodbye's and promised to meet up at lunch. So now Puck was wandering, dodging teachers and trying to get familiar with his surroundings. For some reason the whole school just seemed to vibrate with something and it was sending his Slayer senses haywire. None of it necessarily felt vampiric or even really demonic…just off.

Once he'd passed several classrooms, and checked all the locker rooms, he stopped in the auditorium. A boy, about his age, was puttering around on stage, seemingly lost his own world reading some papers in his hands. He was tall, had dark hair, and Noah could tell he would be the shy, humble type. Upon closer inspection, he was objectively handsome in the classic sense – broad shoulders, strong jaw, and deep eyes. Not that Noah felt any sort of sexual attraction to him, he was merely studying him. And after, his eyes had done their duty he started to wonder what exactly the boy was trying to do to be so unaware that someone was watching him.

So utilizing the Slayer stealth he had developed over the last three months, he climbed on stage and sat on the piano bench that facing the boy's back. "You know, the first rule of self-defense is to know your surroundings," Noah said in a normal tone of voice startling the other teen.

He locked eyes with the frightened kid and chuckled at him.

"What the-…who the-…what the hell dude?" the boy stuttered and backed up a couple of steps holding his obviously racing heart.

"Relax, it's not like I'm here to hurt you." Noah scoffed and lounged back on the piano, smirking. "Besides, if I was, I would have by now. What with how oblivious you were to everything."

The teen looked indignant, coming forward with purpose and eyebrows furrowed, "I wasn't oblivious, I was concentrating! You scared the crap out of me! I didn't even hear you come in."

Puck's smirk grew, "I'm like a cat, so sue me. Now what's your name, non-oblivious boy?"

The kid looked at him strange. "You mean you don't know who I am?"

Now Noah was confused. "Should I?"

"Not necessarily, it's just that usually everyone knows the quarterback." The 'quarterback' stepped forward with an outstretched hand that Noah merely stared at. "I'm Finn Hudson."

When it became clear Puck wasn't going to be shaking his hand, 'Finn' let it drop awkwardly.

Noah raised an eyebrow and began to stand up. "Noah Puckerman. Call me Puck." He said in response and began walking off the stage.

Finn's face drew in and then he smiled. "Oh, you're the transfer from Dayton Rachel texted me about!" Noah simply shot him a look over his shoulder with a muttered 'guess so.' "Well where are you going?"

Okay, so now Noah was really starting to get annoyed with that question. "Does it matter to you?" He stopped long enough to reply. He had to finish staking out the school grounds before he reported to Mr. Shue at the end of the day.

"Well I can be, like, your tour guide," He hurried to explain, catching up with him in front of a row of chairs.

Puck groaned and looked back in annoyance, "Does everyone new in this school get a Glee kid as a tour guide or something?"

Truth be told, Noah didn't want to be rude, it was just reflexive. He wasn't used to kids being nice to him, and he had few bones to pick with Glee Clubs and their people in general. Not to mention, he was breaking his rules by forming relationships with the likes of Rachel and Finn. As the Slayer, any day could be your last day; and having attachments outside the constraints of your job clouds your judgment. Which was something Puck couldn't have since his sister's fate rested upon his shoulders.

"Well, no," Finn faltered, "but Rachel made it sound like she was, like, scouting you or something to become a part of our group…so as the other lead it's kinda my job to make sure you like us, ya know?" He then flashed Puck what he figured was supposed to be a charming smile, but actually made him look kinda constipated.

Okay, so maybe the Finn guy was actually rather cute in an awkward little boy way. Puck smirked and chuckled at his obvious confusion. "Well consider your job complete, Finn Hudson. I like you, but I'm not coming to any Glee Club."

And with that he continued walking past a stunned looking Finn.

Once he'd left the auditorium and been on his way to the gym, he heard footsteps. He froze and sensed the air, then sighed in frustration before turning around to none other than Mr. Shuester.

"Let me guess," he ground out in irritation, "A test?"

Will smiled at his pupil. "You did very well. Sense then…"

"…then face your opponent." Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, ya know."

"Never said you were," Mr. Shue continued his smiling. "By the way, you are joining Glee Club, and it starts this afternoon."

Puck gapes at him. "What the- NO!" He answered him vehemently before turning around.

Will stayed in place knowing his Slayer would listen to his instructions either way. "Yes, you will. You need an excuse to stay longer around school and the Glee Club doesn't usually let out until after four. So as such I have taken over as the director."

That stopped Puck in his tracks and he turned to face his Watcher. "What the hell, man? Glee Clubs were not a part of our deal!" He walked back with an angry stomp. "I slay demons and vampires. Not prance around in costumes and sing show tunes."

Will scoffs, "They aren't all show tunes."

"Whatever," Noah growled menacingly.

Mr. Shue was entirely unfazed by the display. "As I said, we need an excuse to stay at school longer than the average student, and our options were the Cheerios or the Glee Club." Puck looked absolutely horrified and Will's smile turned absolutely devious. "I chose the lesser of two evils." In a teasing voice, he continued, "You should be thanking me, Noah."

He huffed. "Why do we need to stay at school any longer than we have to be here?" Puck almost whines.

"We need the space the gym provides to train."

Noah's eye brows furrowed, "Why can't we do that in another gym? It's what we've been doing?"

"Because," Will said and started walking while Noah falls into step beside him, "this is the Hellmouth, Noah. The rules here in Lima are much different." Noah seeming confused, Will elaborated for his Slayer. "Have you been paying attention to your senses today, other than a few minutes ago?"

"Of course, I wouldn't take a risk that makes me miss something." He replied seriously.

"What have you noticed?"

He thought back on the day that far: the slushy, the students milling about trying to mind their own business, Rachel, Finn…most of it seemed pretty normal for high school. Well except, "I've been feeling like there's something off about this school."

"And it's students?"

Noah sent him a strange glance and shrugged. "I haven't noticed anything about the students. They all seem like normal teenagers to me."

Will stopped and looked at Puck closely. "Are you sure?"

Puck took the moment to really remember everything, well Rachel…"This girl Rachel girl I met seemed surprised I talked to her when she was helping me clean up. Well, after a jock named Karofsky tossed a fucking slushy, of all god forsaken things in my face, and ruined my damn shirt."

Will smiled.

"What?" Noah asked him even more confused.

"You just answered the question, and you didn't even know it." His Watcher laughed and continuesd walking. "You have so much to learn Slayer."

Puck swallowed his irritation.

After a few more minutes of silence, Mr. Shue starts explaining in a hushed tone, "These students are afraid, Noah. You were right; there is something wrong in this school. Students shouldn't be clamoring as fast as they do to get to their next class. There is something here they are afraid of; and in my search the only place that I have not found to be giving off waves is in the auditorium."

Noah bit his lip then his eyes widened, "You're right. I was in there a few minutes ago, and this kid named Finn-…"

"Yes, I saw." Will nodded and at Noah's annoyed look, "What, I'm a Watcher I am supposed watch."

Noah rolled his eyes with an amused smirk.

"But anyway, you are joining Glee Club, and that's final. There is reason the Glee aren't afraid when they are in that auditorium, and we need to find out why it is." Puck groaned loudly. "And besides, I'm sure with the Glee kids having the chance at Sectionals to beat none other than Vocal Adrenaline, it would be quite satisfying to you to rub your superiority in that awful ex of yours."

Noah gave his Watcher an outraged look, "That was a low blow."

"Maybe," Will conceded, "But it worked right?"

And with another smile that ass of a Watcher left him glaring at a row of lockers. A few seconds later Noah sighed before turning the corner and heading towards the lunchroom. In a few minutes classes would be out, and he really wanted to save himself from Rachel's death grip. Well, at least until he informed her with the delightful news that he was going to be joining her that afternoon.

Fuck his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Episode: One  
Pilot  
Part 3

"I heard the new kid is some delinquent that got kicked outta school for settin' the gym on fire." A blonde boy with a Tennessee accent said to some of the other kids in the choir room, as Puck listened from right outside.

He snorted to himself. Small school, big gossip chain. And to think he was going about almost entirely unnoticed…save for one slushy that he was still pissed about, thank you.

A black girl looked totally scandalized at the blonde boy's words before adding her two cents, "I heard he set the gym on fire because he's bipolar."

"Mercy, you'd have to be, to do such a thing." Another younger, smaller boy said with an effeminate voice, as most of the others in the room seemed to agree.

Puck rolled his eyes and plopped against the wall. Just his luck, he's forced into a group that already believes he's some disturbed juvenile case. Why not?

"Not necessarily." The kid in a wheelchair pipes up next to a girl in full on Goth clothes. 'Geez, Puck thinks to himself, 'she's like the very embodiment of all things creepy…cool.'

All eyes turn in the kid's direction. "Well, I'm just saying that maybe he had a reason. You know, maybe he had to set it on fire."

Well, Noah didn't know whether to like the kid for sticking up for him, or be insulted in the fact that absolutely everyone buys a story that isn't true…okay so maybe not totally true. It wasn't the whole gym and he didn't get kicked out because no one caught him. True story is, in the last week of school (after he'd been assigned Slayer duties) he faced down a group of vampires outside. So somehow one the vamps wound up fighting with him in the gym with his stake missing, and all he had was a lighter…so naturally he opened it and set the vamp on fire. Did it leave burn marks, yeah; but was it the whole freaking gym? Fuck no.

See BIG difference.

"Yeah, Artie's right, yo." Another black guy spoke up, drawing an annoyed look from a few of them. "Just because you do something stupid, don't make you schizo."

Yeah, true, expect for the stupid part.

Finn chose that moment to walk via the other entrance and look at his band mates. "Whatcha talking about?"

"That new kid with the curly hair," the effeminate boy spoke for everyone, "and whether or not he might be crazy."

"I don't think he's crazy," Finn said hesitantly.

"But ya think there's something weird?" The black guy asked with interest. "Have you met him?"

"Yeah," Finn replies with a frown. "He snuck up on me in the auditorium."

"Oh my god, Kurt," the girl named Mercy says totally freaked. "He's a bipolar-fire-starting-stalker-schizophrenic."

Finn's face pulled in as he started to sit in one of the empty burgundy chairs, "Wait, who's starting fires?"

"The new kid," the blonde guy practically hissed in his direction.

Finn looked at him with an annoyed expression, "How do ya know that, Sam?"

"Because," he replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "That's what Larry overheard Karofsky telling Azimio."

"Oh and we know how reliable those guys are." The Goth girl finally says with a shake of her head.

Puck scowled trying to stave his increasing agitation. All that room needed was a few rings and you could consider it a circus. Fucking Shuester and his fucking stupid idea that he needed to be a part of a stupid fucking glee club.

Fucking fuck it all!

Rachel suddenly appeared beside him, and damn if he didn't hate how she does that. "While I appreciate the dramatic flair of you waiting in the hallway for our director to announce your presence, wouldn't you prefer to have a chance to get to know everyone before rehearsal starts?"

Puck assessed her quietly for a second and then sighed, adding his own level of theatricality as if it pained him to agree with her. "Yeah, maybe," he mock pouts, "But I've been listening to them in there, they already hate me."

"Oh Noah," she scoffs and takes his arm which he's convinced is going to be scarred forever with her claw marks, "don't be a baby. Come on, they will love you!" She coos with a bright smile, leading him away from the wall. "You already have Finn and me on your side, and we're the captains. The rest will be easy, trust me. Here in Glee, we accept everybody."

'Probably cause ya have to, since it isn't like there are thousands of people busting down the door to join. You take anyone you can get.' He thinks to himself.

There is a sudden, awkward silence that befalls the room as Rachel and he step through the door. If he weren't already aggravated with these people for talking about him the way they did, he probably would've blushed. Rachel though doesn't seem fazed by the quiet at all, in fact, she gives everyone her brightest stage smile and gestures for Noah to stand in front of everyone. Now he feels like an exotic bird being scoped out by onlookers. Is it weird that he has a sudden urge to puke?

"You guys, this is Noah Puckerman," Rachel says needlessly, looking over at him as if commanding him with her eyes to say hello.

"Hey," he mumbles with a little wave not letting his eyes settle on anyone in particular.

There's a continued quiet, until finally the effeminate boy from earlier speaks up, saying the last thing he thought he would, "If you are going to be joining us, you need to bring extra sets of clothing; because really, honey, the red stains of slushy isn't a good look on anyone."

Noah looks down, now suddenly very self-conscious, so he crosses his arms. He grumbles a little before replying with, "Well it wasn't like I expected to have it dumped on me in front of friggin everyone, dude."

The boy's lips curl in disgust, "My name isn't, 'dude,' it's Kurt Hummel. I'd appreciate it if you use it."

Noah is about to say something else when the boy in the wheelchair speaks up. "Did ya actually set the gym on fire back at Carmel? Cause that be some freaky shit yo," He chuckles.

Noah smirks, feeling a little less hostile. He's gonna like this kid. "Yes and no. No it wasn't the whole gym and yes there was a fire inside."

"Why?" The Goth girl asks with a confused frown.

"Well, ya see, it's kinda complicated…"

"No it isn't," Mercy breaks in with a bitchy scowl, effectively making him return the look. "Why would you want to do something awful like that?"

"I wasn't…" he growls, only to have Sam cut him off again.

"I told you," he says to Finn haughtily; who, in turn, looks as if he'd life to wipe the smirk off his face.

"Look!" Puck tries to say in his own defense, but then all Hell breaks loose as seemingly everyone has an opinion and intends on voicing it all at once. From the sidelines, like a child trying to tell her older more aggressive siblings to give her a chance to play, Rachel tries to calm the situation down to keep Noah from bolting.

"…it's like a time bomb, ya know? Today a gym, tomorrow the school…"

"…you are delusional, Evans. You and your buddies the blue idiots from Pan-los-e-dora…"

"…the curly hair was the give away. Crazies always got that mop of curlies.."

"If we could all just calm down, and give our new member a chance to explain…"

"Really? I'd say it was more the fact that Rachel was the first friend he made."

"…you make no sense, Rutherford. What the fuck is a Pan-los-e-dora."

"…apparently you, trouty mouth."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Hudson."

Puck groans. Where was Shue? This was his fucking fault.

Puck's plan was simple. Go to school during the day, train in the afternoons, and slay vampires at night before going to bed only to repeat the process. But noooo, good ole Watcher boy had to go and screw it all up.

Finally having had enough of the bickering, he puts his fingers in his mouth and lets off a shrill whistle, deafening everyone. They all turn to glare at him, and for the first time he's actually fighting a smile.

"Thank you," he huffs and clears his throat. "Now I'm only gonna say this once. I started a fire in my last gym to…to correct a situation. The whole thing didn't burn down, I'm not bipolar, I'm not crazy, I have no intentions of doing it again…unless something similar happens, anyway, and I'd really appreciate if you'd keep your thoughts to yourself. Rach here told me you needed members to compete. Well," He gestures to himself, "here I am. Now if you guys are that concerned with competing, you'd think you'd be kissing my feet to join you bunch of social rejects."

There was a gasp and then Kurt's voice says while sounding highly offended, "I am not a social reject."

Puck rolls his eyes, "Whatever, okay? Whatever. Give me some sheet music, and outside of these walls, we can pretend to hate each other. I really don't care, alright?"

There were a few grumbles and as if the bastard planned it, Mr. Shue chose that moment to flounce into the room, warm smile written on his face. "Hello, everyone," he greets happily, eyes settling on Noah's scowling form. He says barely masking his amusement, "Did I miss anything?"

Not for the first time does he contemplate exercising his Slayer strength to bitch slap the little turd.


	4. Chapter 4

Puck: The Vampire Slayer  
Episode: One  
Pilot  
Part 4

Sam wasn't the smartest of kids.

Everyone knew this, hell, even Sam himself knew this.

But did that mean that Sam took an extra few minutes to evaluate a situation to compensate for his lack of intelligence?

No, never.

Remember, Sam Evans was not the smartest of kids; and when it came to impulses, he reacted to them impulsively. Which is why he is walking down the hallway of his school, in the dead of night, with the pretty blonde girl named Darla he met at The Bronze – The Bronze is the only teen hangout in the area, they made do.

Should he be there? No.

Is he there anyway? Yes.

Why? Because this chic has a great rack, looked like the love of his life, and liked his impersonations. Simple as.

"Sooo…" he drawls, trying to get closer to her, "this is McKinley."

Darla sent a sexy smirk his way. "You were so brave bashing in that window to get us in here."

Sam puffed himself up a bit. Yeah, he was wasn't he? And the fact that girl dug it? Bonus! "Well, you know," he said trying to flex his biceps without being too obvious, "these guns come in handy from time to time."

"Hmm, I'm sure," she practically groans out and stops in the middle of the walkway to turn to him and lick her lips slowly, lustfully.

Sam's eyes follow that questing tongue, yeah, that was hawt.

"But my real question is, what other parts of you come in handy?" She asks innocently, slowly walking towards him.

Sam swallows. Damn, she was good, even if this was minorly cheesy. It was like his every fantasy rolled into one. If only she would act like this for him. "I got a lot of stuff that's pretty handy."

Darla played with hem of her short Catholic school girl skirt, continuing her pace. Once she gets right next to his ear she moans lowly, "Show me."

Sam bites his lip and leans down to capture hers in a passionate kiss, not bothering to fight her as she backs him up against a row of lockers.

Sam wasn't the smartest of kids, but after that decision, it really didn't matter anymore…

"What-What are you?" he gasps when she pulls back with heavy lidded eyes. When he hears a hiss they open wide. "Oh. My. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

~PTVS~

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Rachel screeches in a way Puck is sure does damage to her vocal chords.

He rolls his eyes, today was only the second day of school in this Podunk hellhole (literally), and he was already putting up with girly moments. His Slayer duties from the night before had been rather uneventful. He counted it as a blessing. The gravyards were almost entirely empty of fledglings and no other things were popping up to challenge him. It had been a nice switch. One even Mr. Shuester commented on in relief. So was really all that terrible of him to hope for the zen to continue into the next morning?

But Rachel was reading what appeared to be the paper and looked as if she were going to pass out. Okay, so that was different. He walks a little quicker to her locker and stands against the ones on her right.

"Hey, Rach," he greets cautiously. "What's uh, what's going on?"

She turns devastated and teary eyes his way. Well that makes his stomach do something weird, which immediately makes him frown. He's getting attached to the mousy girl in front of him with no friends. The next thing that's going to happen is he's going to care about her. Which, come on, all things considered was hard not to do. She was like an abandoned pet; she craved attention with big doe eyes and will love you unconditionally in return once you stroke her head. She was just so open and trusting. Noah liked to think, for a moment, that's how his sister would turn out.

His sister.

That's why he can't get attached. His sole focus is protecting his sister, not finding a best friend. What was wrong with him?

"Noah," she breathes as the tears begin to fall, "it's…" she hands him the paper, unable to speak.

He takes it and reads over the paragraph. Oh.

"Sam's dead?" he questions, turning his eyes back to Rachel. She's sniffling and tryin to compose herself. "I'm so sorry, Rach. I know he was your friend."

She nods and wipes her tears, "It's gonna be even worse for Finn. They grew up together. They were like brothers."

Noah reads the description of Sam's body a little more closely. No obvious signs violence besides two pinpricks in his neck near his artery.

Vampire.

It had to be. Sam was killed by a vampire.

Here.

On school grounds. Shit.

He was already failing at his job. It had been a quiet night, right. Quiet in the form of a seventeen year old boy getting murdered on his watch. And isn't that just the thought he needed to drive the metaphorical knife a little deeper?

"It says here it must have happened sometime after midnight," he mumbles to himself. And when he turns to Rachel he notices her confused stare, he clears his throat. "That's just, uh, pretty late don't you think? For him to be here?"

Rachel nods slowly, as if she's thinking, 'That's all he has to say?'

"It's, umm…strange?" he finishes dumbly.

Rachel sighs, taking the paper back. "It's just all so sad. Sam wasn't the nicest of guys, sure; and he had this rather odd obsession with Quinn, but he was still one of us, you know?"

"One of you?" he asks, watching as she puts the paper in her locker and pulls out her American Government text.

"Gleeks. Glee kids," she explains and shuts the door with a resounding slam. Keeping her eyes trained forward, she starts walking and Noah feels a little weird to be in the reverse role from yesterday. Following her around as if he doesn't better things to do. "We don't always get along, but we're a family. And now that he's gone, not only have we lost another member and are down even more than before, but we lost a friend." She stops and so does Noah. He swallows as she turns to him, eyes full of sadness. "I just wish there was something I could have done."

"Hey, Rachel," he says in a kind voice, "you couldn't have known. Don't start that, okay?" She sniffles. "Shit happens. And," he pauses, trying to figure out where he's going with that particular thought, before finally letting it drop. "And, I'm sure the cops are on it." Changing the subject, he clears his throat, "Look, you said he had an obsession with, Quinn was it?"

She nods. "Everyone knew he liked her. Even Finn, and he's her boyfriend; but they were okay with each other about it. Sam would have never overstepped his bounds. He might have been a jerk, at times, but his friendship with Finn was important to him. And I was always convinced it all had more to do with the fact that Quinn was head cheerio, and Sam was attracted to power." She stops and sniffles again. "But I guess none of that matters now. I have to go; I will see you at lunch."

Standing in deep thought he just agrees with her.

Huh. So there was a lot going on behind the scenes here at McKinley. Finn the star quarterback's best friend just got his neck munched on by a vampire, but said best friend was crushing on – maybe even cheating with – star quarterback's girlfriend. All the while moonlighting as a Gleek (what a strange turn of phrase) trying to appear as a bad boy that's been tamed. Something told Puck there was even more than that, and this story was about to get really ugly.

First order of business, find Finn and corner him into talking about Sam. Then, find Quinn and figure out what is really going on.

She's a cheerio. That means she pays attention to people who are cool. So do something to get her attention and pull the answers out of her.

Finally, talk to Mr. Shue about the new developments. Something's buzzing in the air even more than before. And was definitely something not good, but also definately his job to fix.

Looks like Puck: The Vampire Slayer just got his first order of Hellmouth business.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are love.


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